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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did the Indian say to the white woman when she tied his penis in a knot? A: ""How Come?"""

"So LIGO scientists were finally able to detect gravitational waves... Don't know what took them so long. Your mom's been around for some time now, rippling spacetime."

"My favorite knock knock joke. Knock Knock! Who's there? To. To Who? To *Whom.*"

"Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate. Waiters gonna wait. Aligators gonna aligate."

"Why was the kitten fired from his telemarketing job? For Catcalling"

"I'm developing a new dandruff shampoo designed specifically for pubic hair. I'm going to call it Knees and Toes."

"If my dying plant is any indication, I probably don't water my dog enough... Oh fuck, where's my kid?"

"Chuck Norris can recharge his chuckPod by plugging it into a piece of cheese."

"Women hate to be stereotyped. .. They're all like that."

"Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, ""It's dark in here isn't it?"" The other replied, ""I don't know; I can't see."""