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Joke of the Day

"Donkey and a rooster So let's say I have a rooster and you have a donkey. If your donkey eats the feet off of my rooster what will you have? Two feet of my cock in your ass."

"*popular kid is struggling in class *gets a tutor to help *Kool-Aid"

"""You fancy my best friend, don't you?"" asked my wife. ""If given the choice..."" I replied, ""I'd rather have sex with you then her."" ""You mean 'than'."" ""No."""

"Today I had a mild panic attack over the fact I will die someday. Then I bought some shit on Amazon. Your mom is a hermaphrodite."

"Mimes give each other the unsilent treatment."

"[my wife and I watch a drunk white girl fall out of a cab] I've never drank that much.... [wife looks at me in disgust] ugh, ok I have."

"Found a quarter on the ground the other day You could say it 'changed' my life"

"My girlfriend thinks I'm a pedophile.... Eh but what would she know, I mean she is only three."

"Never! And i mean never! say the word ""Bnag"" It's bang out of order."

"My dentist hit me in the mouth... ...he really hurt my fillings."