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Joke of the Day

"when i die i want my kids to carry my casket. So they can let me down one more time."

"What be a pirate's favorite letter? Ayy, you think it be ""r"" but it really be the ""c""."

"Did you here about the new zoo? They put a fence around Iowa."

"i jacked off into the toilet and tried to flush but the cum seems to always stay afloat..... well,what do you know...... I got great swimmers!!!"

"(Xpost Antijokes) Check yourself before you wreck yourself... ...with dick cancer. Happy Movember. http://us.movember.com/mens-health/"

"The propellor of a plane is actually a giant fan for the pilot When the fan stops, you can actually see the pilot start sweating"

"Happy poops are all alike; every unhappy poop is unhappy in its own way."

"Me: *gets on scale* 5yo: Whoa! That's a lot of points!"

"What tribe is your bicep from?"

"What's the difference between an owl and a bungee cord? My ass"