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Joke of the Day

"I used to pray for a new bike... then i found out that's not how god works so I stole one and prayed to be forgiven"

"I'm much better at organizing my thoughts on Reddit than I am IRL After all, most of my comments here just have the one point."

"I'm really good mates with 25 letters out of the alphabet I don't know why"

"Policeman: Didn't you hear me whistle at you? Woman Driver: Sure but I don't flirt when I drive."

"What's the difference between light and hard? You can't sleep with a light on"

"""I got 15 years for leaving my wife.."" ""How'd you leave her?"" ""Dead by the side of the road..."""

"I'm thinking of becoming Hispanic just for the upside-down exclamation point. I like what you guys did there. I'm jealous."

"You know those people who only tweet once every couple of days? What do they have going on that I don't? I mean, besides a life."

"Why are ghosts always just moaning? Did your manners die too? Use your words!"

"Did you hear about the Jewish pedophile? He said ""Hey, kid. Can I sell ya some candy?"""