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Joke of the Day

"Q: What happened to the Polish National Library? A: Someone stole the book."

"Why does Santa Clause have such a big sack? He only comes once a year."

"""That's me in a nutshell."" A peanut's photo album."

"Some homophobic guys are scared that a dude might hit on 'em. If a chick wouldn't hit on you, neither would a dude. Ugliness is universal."

"My girlfriend said she would leave me if I did't stop singing The Monkee's. Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer."

"[Calls number written on my windshield with lipstick] Hi, you left your number on my car. Who's going to clean this?"

"I could tell you a bad, groan-worthy pun about an angry bowler who lashes out and ""strikes"" a fellow bowler, but I'll spare you."

"Why were the police ever issued with pepper sprays? Surely this will lead to the creation of more seasoned criminals."

"Show someone you hate them by buying them an Edible Arrangement."

"Why do endocrinologists visit brothels? Because they are interested in whore moans."