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Joke of the Day

"Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever's bugging you."

"What kind of exercise does Ned Flanders like to do? Diddily-squats."

"What is the difference between a Lira and a Dollar? A Dollar"

"Facebook: Because I like being reminded that I went to school with idiots."

"A small village soup chef tried to make a bit of extra money on the side, selling boullion cubes laced with marijuana... It was the laughing stock of the whole town."

"I hate my new hair cut. Hopefully it will grow on me."

"If a child refuses to sleep during nap time... are they guilty of resisting a rest?"

"Did I tell you about the time I was going down on my grandmother? All I could taste was horse semen... So I thought to myself, ""this must be how she died!"""

"Q: What is the definition of an optimist? A: An accordion player with a pager."

"A guy walks into a bar and says 'ouch' Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks"