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Joke of the Day

"How do you tell if a lesbian installed your flooring? It's all tongue and groove."

"Gerald: ""Have you ever come across a man who at the slightest touch caused you to thrill and tremble in every fiber of your being?"" Mabel: ""Yes the dentist."""

"A cabbage, a faucet, and a tomato had a race. The cabbage was ahead, the faucet was running, and the tomato tried to catch up."

"BREAKING: Polaroid photo taken. More on this story as it develops."

"How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just shoot the room for being black."

"How do you get the GOP to support universal healthcare? Make it for *White* people only."

"A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" The Screwdriver responds, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"How did the blind kid burn the side of his face? He answered the iron"

"I made a bet with my sister that I could make a working car out of spaghetti.. ..you should have seen her face when I drove pasta."

"The part of the Bible I relate to the most is when Jesus makes a scene at the farmers market"