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Joke of the Day

"So earlier I held the door for an Asian guy... He said ""Sank you"" ...so I punched him. I couldn't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that."

"'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo' is the reason I always donate money to Planned Parenthood."

"What would a video game about an abortion nurse be called? Womb raider"

"What has 3 teeth and 100 legs An unemployment line in Tennessee."

"You're the Pepsi of people. Some people like you, but they're wrong."

"3YO: Why do I have to share a room with my twin sister? ME: Because we only anticipated having one of you."

"What does a astronaut put in a sandwich? Space Jam"

"Me: We should go to the gym more often. Him: I hate it there. It's like a meat market. And I'm the expired meat."

"My wife saw an ad in a window Which said ""tampons 50cents"" Is that true, she asked the shopkeeper... Very true, he said....""no strings attached"""

"I dressed up as a coprophiliac Taurus to the Halloween party, but got kicked out because apparently it was ""indecent."" Bull-fucking-shit."