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Joke of the Day

"When I'm in a good mood I act like I'm I'm in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood. Neat huh!"

"Hi college freshmen! I hope when you selected bedding for your dorm room you asked yourself, ""Can I see myself throwing up on this pattern?"""

"Why do cannibals make suitcases out of peoples heads? Because they're headcases !"

"If the number 666 is considered evil... ...is the number 999 is considered LIVE?"

"Why did the Mexican jump the border? To get back to Mexico"

"A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''"

"Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: ""Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"One of my favourite things is Pork Souvlaki on a Pita But it's hard to get the animal rights activists to stay still"

"My girlfriend told me that she looked fat, and wanted me to give her a compliment... I told her that her eyesight was outstanding."

"I ate an optimist once... But I couldn't keep him down."