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Joke of the Day
"Studies show... Studies show that intelligent people swear more than stupid motherfuckers."
Next Joke
"A friend of mine died from a sore throat... ... Th**e**y hung him!"
"When someone yawns, I like to yell ""Surprise Dentist!"" and stick my hand in their mouth, which is fun because I'm not really a dentist."
"Allstate just sent me a safe driver bonus check for 73 cents so I guess good things do happen to good people."
"I saw this farmer milking a baby cow and I thought to myself ""How could anybody stoop that low?"""
"For a second I thought this cookie had raisins in it, but luckily they're just spider egg sacs."
"You're more special than relativity."
"Why shouldn't you put a baby in the microwave? Because you get better results from slowly roasting it in the oven."
"How does a cat tell time?? In meowers"
"Doctor in lab coat peers into microscope. ""Good Lord!"" he says. ""His burrito levels are off the charts!"" - from my autopsy"