98512

Joke of the Day

"I am going to make millions when I finally finish developing this iPhone app that tells you when the traffic light turns green."

"KING ARTHUR: ...and that is our noble quest. REPORTER: K, great. What shape is your table? A: Um, round? But that's not really... R: Got it"

"Hi. Everyone. I created a subreddit for topical news jokes. If you like Colbert, Letterman and Leno's opening monologues, come check it out. /r/newsjokes"

"fog machine I was pissed off yesterday. So pissed off I threw my fog machine out the window. Something must have went wrong, because it misted."

"I smiled and waved at my neighbour so I bet the first thing she'll do today is buy bedroom curtains."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands"

"What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded"

"One day, when you least expect it, every single one of your problems will finally be gone. Oddly enough, so will you."

"Want to dance? Or should I go to hell again?"

"In Canada alcoholics go to EhEh meetings."