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Joke of the Day

"What's the only acceptable filetype at The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning? .docx"

"Q: What do a blonde and a car have in common? A: They can both drive you crazy."

"Katy Perry has made it so awkward to buy cherry chapstick. I swear that cashier just winked and licked his lips at me."

"I was making Ewok for dinner but I cooked it too long and it was like, a little Chewy. -- (Wil Shipley)"

"An Italian family is sitting quietly at a table in a restaurant"

"What do you call a female peacock? A peacunt!"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog."

"I work at a bar, don't like it but it pays good. I just kneaded the Dough. EDIT: Not bar, bakery. Sand autocorrect. Never use Reddit on a phone."

"How would it be living in an only men city? I think it would be tight at first, but then it would loosen up after a while."

"[Forest] GF: Oh god it's a bear! Me: *Stuffs socks down front of pants* GF: What are you doing? Me: Making myself look big Bear: Well hi"