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Joke of the Day

"So, I'm officially off the market. Got a DM from a faceless Avi proposing marriage in broken English. We're planning a June wedding!"

"My identity was stolen two days ago. They called today begging for me to take it back."

"Did you hear about the courier who became a successful comedian? The jokes were nothing special, but his delivery was impeccable."

"What happened to the man in crutches when he heard a punny joke he couldn't bear to stand it."

"Why Can't You Play UNO With Mexicans? They keep stealing the goddamn green cards."

"What do a call a fish with no eyes A blind fish"

"What was the rock band doing at the kitchen sink? Moshing the dishes"

"""What should we name them?"" Grapes ""And what about these?"" Grapefruits ""I see. So one is a larger version of another?"" Not at all ""Perfect"""

"Is your business interested in reaching a larger and wider audience? Pm me for my ex wife's email address"

"I thought eyelashes were meant to keep stuff out of my eye, but half the time if theres anything in my eye its a damn eyelash."