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Joke of the Day
"How does Santa know if he lands on a Jewish house? There's a parking meter on the roof."
Next Joke
"When the side effect of a quit smoking aid is suicide, they really mean their guarantee that you'll stop smoking."
"Vitamin C is Spanish for Vitamin Yes"
"I spent days, weeks, months, creating the perfect garden gazebo. Meanwhile, my marriage was falling apart"
"Two cats are swimming across a river, who made it across? one's name is ""one two three"" and the others name is ""un deux trois"". who made it across? one two three, because un deux trois cat sank."
"What did the passive aggressive raven say to Edgar Allen Poe? ""...ugh nevermind"""
"Think you know guilt? *takes long drag on cigarette* I'm the wildebeest who killed Mufasa. *exhales* I hear Simba's screams every night."
"[first date] *pointing indiscriminately* ""uh-oh looks like we're on the Kiss Cam"" there's no- *leans in* there's no Kiss Cam at Applebees"
"Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common? A: They both have black roots."
"I used to work in a bakery, didn't really enjoy it and the pay wasn't great... I just kneaded the dough I'm sorry, I'll leave now..."