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Joke of the Day

"Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza."

"What happened when the fat woman backed into the airplane propeller? Disaster."

"The most underused drug is birth control pills."

"Starbucks coffee is disgusting. First of all it tastes like soap, second of all u have to get it from dispensers in the BATHROOM????"

"I went to the zoo and saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign said ""Bread in captivity""."

"The reason why Scientology can't be a religion? There are no 1,000,000 people that died because of Scientology."

"A son whale asks his father ""Dad, where did I come from?"" ""You come from your mother, son."" ""Thanks, dad."" ""You're whalecum."""

"Professional women's soccer is so boring. Why am I even jerking off to this?"

"I asked my wife, ""Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"" She said, ""Somewhere I have never been!"" I told her, ""How about the kitchen?"""

"I found a note in a vase a year ago and was to meet someone here for money. No I didn't."