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Joke of the Day

"If Hitler made a Microphone company... ...it'd be called ""The Third Mic""."

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Hippies only screw in tents."

"What do ducks smoke? Quack."

"Meghan Trainor songs: -All About That Bass -Flounder's Good Too -Also I Like Shrimp -Wait, I'm a Vegan -All About That Kale"

"My buddy went to a foreign country to get his sex change operation. Now he's a dude who's abroad."

"Did you know Avatar is a sequel to Titanic? It picks up where Titanic left off, in the sense that half the cast is blue and dying. Obligatory edit: Frontpage on /r/jokes! Wohooo!"

"If you asked Jesus on the cross what he wanted the holiday marking his death to be called, ""Good Friday"" would not have leaped to his mind."

"How cats and dogs think Dog: These people feed me, pet me, love me, they must be God. Cat: These people feed me, pet me, love me, I must be a God."

"Flight attendant: ""will you perform exit row duties in the event of an emergency?"" Me: ""yes"" In my head: ""No we're all gonna die"""

"When grammar nazis correct me, I start to make errors on purpose to mess with them. You can say I'm passive, aggressive."