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Joke of the Day

"If my psychiatrist said ""There's really nothing more I can do for you"", that means I'm cured right??"

"Did you hear about the monster who sent his picture to a lonely hearts club? They sent it back saying they weren't that lonely!"

"Science! A scientist is asked: ""So, how exactly do you make a hormone?"" His response: ""Kick her in the cunt!"""

"Me: who's a good dog? who's a good dog? Dog: i have a boyfriend"

"the most American thing I've done today is pay $5 for a pre-sliced apple"

"The first rule of relationships: You don't find out why someone was available until it's too late."

"i love when people apologize to me about their rooms being dirty I'm just like lmao u should see my life"

"I could never be friends with a dildo. They're stuck-up cunts."

"First time I had sex I was so scared.... I was all alone."

"My grandfather's dying wish was to be pushed in front of a steam train. When it finally happened, he was chuffed to bits."