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Joke of the Day

"Godzilla on his smartphone, googling 'How many carbs does Tokyo have'"

"a neurology proffeser is doing a lesson about orgasims. .. He asks one of his femal students ""what do you think your asshole is doing when you orgasim"" she replies "" its out playing golf"""

"A dyslexic atheist screamed out loud... THERE IS NO DOG!"

"What's the best joke you've ever come up with? Here's mine. >What's Pee-wee Herman's favorite dinner? >Stroganoff."

"Life Advice Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."

"My parents are so impressed with my brothers daily 10 minute workout. I can do it in 8."

"My grandad used to swear by refrigerators. And televisions. In fact, he was probably the most foul-mouthed member of staff Comet ever had."

"America: School 6-18 should be free. More than free! MANDATORY ""Hey can you cover school 19-22 also?"" No that's socialism ""19-20?"" SOCIALISM"

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver."

"Jack is a big part of all of us. He's the best friend we've never had. We spend most of our time doing Jack shit, drinking Jack and Jacking off. Thanks for the memories."