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Joke of the Day

"NEW! ""How to Act"" DVD by Kristen Stewart! In love: :| Uncertain: :| Just married: :| Pregnant: :| Dead: :| Only $139.95! Act now!"

"What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? A lawn moo-er."

"Long distance relationships almost never work out.. Because for example: The distance from Dallas TX to Chicago IL is 967.2 mi. The average penis size is 4 inches."

"Where do you hide after killing a black person? Behind a badge"

"I may be 26, but I have the body of a 16 year old. Her parents are very upset. As are the police."

"I asked my wife what women really want and she said ""attentive lovers""... ...actually she might have said ""A tent of lovers"", I don't really listen to her needs and opinions."

"""Will you just be doing simple abductions? Do you need soundproofing? Shackle package?"" - van salesman"

"WALKING DEAD JOKE (Harsh) I was going to say a compliment about beth but i'm afraid it would go strait to her head."

"Why can you never get caught with a 0 in math? because cot(0) doesn't exist ... This joke... it burns my eyes..."

"What are Aladdin's least favourite biscuits Jaffar Cakes"