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Joke of the Day

"NEW! ""How to Act"" DVD by Kristen Stewart! In love: :| Uncertain: :| Just married: :| Pregnant: :| Dead: :| Only $139.95! Act now!"

"My boss just choked on a breath mint. It was a tough decision to do the Heimlich maneuver because he really needed that mint."

"Is this a coincidence or did a Brazilian design the FIFA logo Is [this](http://i.imgur.com/3eTWAuQ) or is this not a facepalm??"

"*stops next to punks at red light* *stares them down, turns up The Walking Dead opening music* *light turns green, slowly accelerates*"

"What does it mean when they say my car needs ""more low"" I don't know, I don't speak Little Bitch."

"What do gay horses eat? Horse dick."

"Joakim noah injury It is a shame what happened to him, the amount of injuries this NBA season is to damn high! Edit: was informed his face was always like that."

"Two blondes walk into a building... You thought they would have seen it."

"If someone says ""I will do anything for you"" lean in really close and say ""There's a body in my basement and I can't eat it all by myself."""

"What is the difference between rat poison and diet coke? Diet coke has better advertising."