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Joke of the Day
"R1D1 must have sucked."
Next Joke
"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked"
"Knock. Knock knock. Knock knock knock. Knock knock knock knock knock. Who's there? Fibonacci."
"I overheard a work colleague saying they are going to a fancy dress party as a small island of the coast of Italy I said don't be Sicily"
"The cashier at McDonald's was more than happy to warm up some Diet Coke for my baby's bottle."
"Me: I should stop drinking Me: Why? Me: I dunno Me: You're awesome when you drink Me: Really? Me: Yeah Me: Thanks, me. You're alright"
"Twitter: Where if the chemistry's good, the geography won't be.."
"The difference between dates and prunes? You don't get laid after prunes (Courtesy of my date last night after I asked her this question seriously)"
"I've got writer's bl I've got writer'ssssss somethinnnn somethin Writer's blah blah blah blah I'm going to get coffee."
"Sometimes I think to myself ""I hope to god I'm not agnostic... or do I?"""