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Joke of the Day

"I overheard a work colleague saying they are going to a fancy dress party as a small island of the coast of Italy I said don't be Sicily"

"Why are there no joke about Jonestown? The punchlines are too long."

"3 great things about getting old and losing your memory 1. You're always making new friends. 2. Every joke you hear is new. 3. I uh, I forget the third one."

"To get a job in the Army you need good peoples kills."

"Watching Dora with the kids this morning. I wish her parents would just get her an iPhone."

"If you are reading this you are probably not blind."

"How did the turtle call his friends? ...on his shellphone"

"Why did the Jews have such a hard time in Russia? They couldn't get with the pogrom."

"Women are like parking spaces... Sometimes all the good ones are taken, so you have to stick it in a disabled one."

"I was on a first date ""How many women have you slept with?"" she asked. I said, ""Do you want me to round it to the nearest ten?"" ""Oh, I say! Go on then,"" she laughed. I said, ""Zero"""