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Joke of the Day

"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs... ...they always take things literally"

"INTERVIEWER: do u have any weaknesses VIDEO GAME BOSS: [strugling to cover glowing weak spots all over body] UM"

"If we truly become what we mock... ...I think I'm going to start mocking some smarter, more successful people, for a change."

"[Lawyer] ""I can't stress this enough. You cannot plead that you're a wizard ok?"" ""ok"" [Later in court] ""I plead that im a wizard your honor"""

"Damn girl , are you a TV ?? Because you got all eyes on you !"

"A man asks his wife ""Why don't you tell me when you orgasm?"" She said ""I don't like to call you at work""."

"Recently historians revealed Hitler had a ""micropenis""... No wonder he hated black guys"

"How does software eat it's food? By taking large bytes!"

"The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it."

"Donalds trumps presidential campaign"