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Joke of the Day

"I don't wear sunglasses because it's unfair that a photon travels 93 million miles and then when it's an inch from my eye I'm all ""um, no."""

"What is a goal keepers favourite snack? Beans on post!"

"What happens when sharks take their clothes off ? They go sharkers !"

"Some people are like water balloons; they're more fun when you throw them out the window."

"Don't be sad, laundry. nobody's doing me either"

"TIFU by switching up by customer's sandwich orders at Subway Opps wrong sub."

"Steve : I'm going to call it the Steveharmonic orchestra. *Phil creeps up from behind with baseball bat*"

"Rattlesnakes and Condoms ...two things I don't fuck with."

"FUN FACT: Bears hibernate in the winter just to get away from Christmas music..."

"Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint? A: It's not real bright but it's cheap and spreads easy."