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Joke of the Day

"Meant to tell my daughter ""Good night, I love you,"" but it came out as ""Thank god you go back to school on Tuesday because this is bullshit"""

"I'm starting a tent business. My first sales event will be called the ""Tent Offensive"""

"Did you guys hear about the girl that had three vaginas? She kept getting fucked left, right and centre."

"""I've got 99 problems."" - Walt Disney after only being able to give two Dalmatian puppies away"

"[An old thermometer breaks scattering mercury beads all over the floor] ""Get out of here, NOW!"" ""Why?"" ""HAVEN'T U SEEN TERMINATOR 2?"""

"Al Gore cried after having sex ... He released too many emissions."

"Packing Do gays really have a lot of s**t to pack before moving?"

"How are Americans and poles similar? Running into one could really ruin your day."

"These days, lots of things get either exported or imported Except Mexicans, they get deported."

"The conditions inside my car have drawn attention from my boyfriend, my mother, and the Center for Disease Control."