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Joke of the Day

"I was going to write a joke about Kim kardashian's orifices, but they've all been done."

"I'm reading a book titled ""The Indestructible Dog"". I just can't put it down."

"HAHA! Answer your phone silly. I called you like 18 times. -I say as I climb through your window"

"A deer walked out of a gay bar and said... I just blew ten bucks in there!"

"How much sex do couples have? Newly weds: ""Tri-weekly."" After 10 years: ""Try weekly."" After 30 years, ""Try, weakly."""

"My Fitbit was delivered today. It's still sitting in the mailbox because I don't want to walk all the way out there."

"(bed bath and beyond) *walks to beds* Wow nice beds *walks to baths* Wow nice baths *walks through intergalactic wormhole* Wow nice beyond"

"What's a roosters favorite sport? Professional Cock Soccer."

"I asked a blonde friend to check if my blinker was working, her reply was 'Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not.'"

"My bologna has a first name, and a second name, and a fake name, and a sexy nickname, and exactly none of them are your business so go away."