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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? One is a little heavier and the other is a little lighter."

"God said unto John... ""John if you come fourth you shall receive eternal life!"" But John came fifth and won a toaster"

"Hardcore I've just changed my first nappy. My wife doesn't like me wearing them but since I bought Call of Duty it means I get more game time."

"What's the difference between a bum and a crust punk Patches ;D"

"""Why your stomach is so big""...""That's the baby ... I had for lunch"""

"when a cop pulls me over i tell him i'm a nihilist and i don't believe in tickets or laws or authority. i do however now believe in tazers."

"Jamiroquai because Jamirosad."

"Green eggs and 9/11 #SadDrSeuss"

"I'm going to adopt a tapeworm. Perfect pet, cheap to feed, doesn't pee, bark, chew stuff or sit on your head. Best bit, it makes you skinny."

"Women are good politicians... Because they know how to introduce bills in the house."