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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I want to comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don't wanna have to explain why I'm in your Random Party Pics' album at 4am."

"WANTED: Good looking girl to jog in front of me while I run. Can't be fast."

"What does a goose do What can a goose do, that a duck can't, and that your lawyer should ? Stick his bill up his ass."

"If Mcdonald's served hotdogs You could ask them to upsize your McWiener"

"My wife loves sports... Her favorite position is beside herself, and her favorite sport is jumping to conclusions."

"Why did the fox cross the road? Cause there was a billion fucking chickens on the other side."

"*Looking through binoculars Awww, it looks like she forgot her password. I should remind her what it is."

"Huge sale this weekend, we have too many mountain lions, please come buy a mountain lion, this was a horrible business plan, one guy got ate"

"I hate shopping. No matter how much I try and buy supermarket conveyor belt dividers, the cashier keeps on putting them back!"

"Are you a pilot? Because I'd like a trip straight to Djibouti."