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Joke of the Day

"What is Captain Picard's favorite Chinese takeout ? Make it Tso!"

"To Do List : 1: Buy 4 Pigs 2: Paint numbers 1,2,3 & 5 on their backs 3: Release them in Wal-Mart 4: Sit back watch Security search for #4"

"My boyfriend isn't allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window."

"What type of gum does a Buddhist perfer? Enlightenmint! More Gum Jokes!"

"What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head ? Sister Matic !"

"His dick is like shopping for food at whole foods. It doesn't matter how much I get, or when I get it. I always feel fucked."

"What did the Grateful Dead fan say when he ran out of pot? What's that noise?"

"What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM A blonde going through a flashing red light. No offense to blondes lol"

"Date - ""so...are you going to be doing that for the whole date?"" [i can't hear her over my tuba]"

"Found an old Tom Jones CD and my underwear drawer flew wide open and all my undies threw themselves at my stereo."