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Joke of the Day

"Got an email from an airline inviting me to""Discover America"". I've replied with a link to the Wikipedia page about Christopher Columbus."

"What is the poorest tree in the forest? The burr-oak tree."

"When people fall with their iPhone 6 in pocket and hear a crack sound: ""Please let it be my leg, Lord."""

"It sucks how if you say hi to someone once, you're now committed to saying hi to them the rest of your entire life."

"Son: ""Dad, can we talk about the sex with my girlfriend?"" Dad: ""Sure. What's up, buddy?"" Son: ""Could you please stop doing it?"""

"Why did the can crusher quit his job? It was soda pressing..."

"Bill Clinton voted for Hillary Clinton in the electoral college today. First known instance of him being faithful."

"Have you ever smelled moth balls? How did you get his tiny little legs open?"

"I can't wait until I'm 69. It's going to be hilarious."

"I carry a stone around to throw at anyone I hear singing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving. I call it my Jingle Bell Rock."