97047

Joke of the Day

"My daughter knows what a meth lab is thanks to an episode of The Simpsons. At least that's what I had to tell child services just now."

"Computers seized from Wiener prompt new FBI investigations. In her defense, Bill Clinton said it's not the first time she was betrayed by a Wiener."

"I got a bone to pick it's been stuck in my teeth for days"

"[During sex] Me: I know you want me to be ""naughty"", but I can barely breathe in this Hamburglar costume."

"If mummies are from egypt, then where are daddies from?"

"A woman is watching the food channel... Her husband says: why are you watching this? You can't even cook! She replies: you watch porn all day long and I dont even say anything!"

"What do you get when you have Tiger Woods, Stephen Hawking, and Dwayne Johnson in the same room? An Animal, a Vegetable, and a Mineral."

"Did you hear about the deaf gynecologist? Don't worry, he can read lips."

"*Leans head up to wife as I'm dying* Me: My only regret is... *Coughs loudly* Me: ...not having something cooler to say as I die. *Dies*"

"a kiss makes your day, but anal sex maks your hole weak"