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Joke of the Day

"Yo mamma's so old that... ...back in her day, old spice was just called spice!"

"How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionized. **x-post r/ScienceHumour**"

"Why did the snail drink beer? To come out of its shell!"

"Knock knock -Who's there? Ash -Ash who? Bless you.. P.S. kids love it"

"What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic? Some guy sitting up all night wondering if there really is a dog"

"Thanks to twitter the approval of family and friends has taken a backseat to the approval of strangers on the Internet."

"A farmer asked me for help with his chickens He said ""I have 87 chickens, can you help me round them up?"" I said ""Sure... 90."""

"A photon checks into a hotel... A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. ""No thanks, I'm traveling light."""

"[describing criminal to sketch artist] No, he could speak more languages than that. He had racist shoulders. His front teeth were impatient."

"Top Four Signs of Job Security: 4. Promotions and raises 3. Specialized skills 2. Top producer 1. Compromising photos of the boss"