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Joke of the Day

"If I don't make this right hand turn going exactly 3 mph, the entire universe will explode & everyone will die. - the lady in front of me"

"Why were Indians the first people in America? Because they had reservations."

"Where did the King keep his armies? In his sleevies!"

"Mel Brooks is tired of all the letters from Arnold Schwarzenegger begging for a new space balls movie. In a public statement he said he is the worst schwartz a nagger of them all."

"Best Way to deal with High School Bullies: Grow up to be smarter, richer and better looking than them and then add them on Facebook."

"On Facebook, my friend became a fan of Paris Hilton, Heidi Montag and Nickelback. I became a fan of unfriending her."

"I would tell you a joke about my penis... ...but it's too long."

"Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife meat eggs blow job? A: The blow job. You can beat your wife your eggs or your meat; but you just can't beat a blow job."

"I had my FIRST THREE WAY!!! There were a couple of no-shows, but I STILL HAD A GREAT TIME!!"

"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on different levels of noise. The librarian says, ""Sure, what Volume would you like?"""