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Joke of the Day

"Before I really understood sarcasm people would say things like ""oh, well look who it is"" and I'd be like ""it's me Karen, I'm your daughter"""

"You wouldn't believe all of the Easter eggs I just found lying in the grass outside of this pre-school."

"*gets down on one knee* Wow, you really suck. Why can't you be more like the other knee?"

"things u don't want to here at the doctors office (during prostate exam) 'look no hands'"

"An atheist, a vegan and a crossfitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within 2 minutes."

"The most disappointing moment of my adult life was when I found out a vaporizer is an e-cigarette and not a death ray that vaporizes people."

"Hello (Sorry for my English)"

"two atoms are talking.. ""Hey Bob, why the long face?"" ""I've just lost an electron."" ""What, are you sure?"" ""Yes..... I'm positive."""

"The only way I can appreciate a beautiful view is by taking a picture of it with my phone & looking at it on the screen."

"In Canada, every board game is called ""Sorry!"""