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Joke of the Day

"An Irishman walks out of a bar.."

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"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps could finish a race"
"How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her."
"A CW told me for the 50th time that her baby learned how to walk so I told her""if you really wanna impress me lmk when it learns how to fly"""
"Him: I just had sex with that woman! Me: She's 60. Him: I know. Me: I Hope you used protection or you might have caught osteoporosis."
"One of the rudest things you can do is make eye contact with someone eating McDonald's in their car."
"How many guys does it take to open a beer? None, it should be open when she brings it to you."
"What did the Native American do after culinary school? He became a Souix chef."
"Dildo gun What is the difference between a gun and a dildo? Nothing they both go bang but one shoots to kill and one shoots for some pleasure."
"What sound does an Italian make when you shoot him? Wop"