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Joke of the Day

"A CW told me for the 50th time that her baby learned how to walk so I told her""if you really wanna impress me lmk when it learns how to fly"""

"What do you call a heard of sperm whales? Bukkake."

"Whenever u feel like ur not being productive, take a nap. You'll wake up groggy & angry & have forgotten abt the whole ""productivity"" thing"

"So you wanna learn to speak with an Irish accent do you? Whale oil beef hooked."

"How does a virgin pop her cherry? by using a bottle opener"

"""10 Things I Hate About You"" is my favorite movie that sounds like a bitter Buzzfeed article"

"DR DOG: have you been taking your diabetes meds daily? PATIENT: no DR DOG: *hits him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper* Bad patient!"

"i got complimented on my driving earlier they left a note on the car saying parking fine"

"I like my girls how I like my wine Ten-fifteen years old and locked in my basement."

"what did 1 floating british boat say to the other i believe its about high tide for some tea"