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Joke of the Day

"911 maybe too soon What's the difference between 911 and landscaping. Landscaping is an outside job sorry in advance ps I was the original poster of this"

"What did the Kiwi say to the Rabbi? ""Hebrew""."

"I have no idea how I use to get around in the dark before I had a cell phone."

"First Caribou: What do you call a bee that can't make up his mind? Second Caribou: A maybee."

"Sieved flour to rule them all A pinch of salt to grind them Cup of milk, then mix them all add an egg to bind them -Lord of the Onion Rings"

"Him: I'd go to the end of the world for you! Me: Well... what are you waiting for then?"

"Do you know why I pulled you over? ""Yes, because I was driving a motorized toilet."" I meant this time ""Oh. No."" Please step out of the oven."

"What's the dumbest animal in the jungle? The polar bear."

"I'm in so much debt... I could start a government."

"Just fyi, if you're girlfriend asks you if she should lose some weight... ""I love you through thick and thin"" is not an appropriate response."