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Joke of the Day
"What instrument does Mother Earth play? The Qatar."
Next Joke
"*hears suspicious noise in backyard, is too lazy to get up & investigate* *smells cookies baking at neighbors house, immediately goes over*"
"Height Q: What is the height of honesty? A: A pregnant lady takes one and a half ticket in the bus Q: What is the height of dishonesty? A: She gives birth to twins"
"According to my cousin's diploma, he graduated from an ""Institute of Fine Farts"" because I just made an adjustment to it with a sharpie."
"If you've watched even one episode of two and a half men... ...you're gonna need to go ahead and get yourself tested."
"how would u like your steak sir? we've got rare, ultra rare, legendary, fossil, or u can try and catch your own steak in the safari zone"
"Kids are like doughnuts. Sweet and yummy but more than one, maybe two, and you're like, ""What the hell have I done?"""
"Love voicemails from my grandma that start with ""hello?....HELLO??..."" and end with her trying to dial another number."
"What noise does a witch make when she's flyin around? BROOM BROOM BROOOOOOOM"
"Why did the Jew vote for Obama? Because he promised change."