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Joke of the Day

"This subreddit is literally full of Ellen Pao right now. Here's what I have to say about it [removed]"

"How do you know when a Jewish chef is done cooking? You check the oven."

"""Do you ever get the feeling you're being watched?"" [from the bushes] ""No"""

"Everybody always asks my why I like chess so much... yeah"

"Procrastination is like masturbation... ... it feels good while you're doing it, but you're only fucking yourself."

"Where does sans live? Sans francisco"

"Apple's CEO Tim Cook has announced he is gay. Samsung's CEO is expected to announce tomorrow he is waaay gayer."

"What does one lesbian pirate say to another lesbian pirate? Scissor me timbers."

"It's that time of the month for robots iPads"

"""Strap On"" backwards is ""No Parts"""