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Joke of the Day

"What's red and smells like blue paint?... Red paint."

"The police station installed ""Safe Spots"" for Craigslist sales... Which is great because I always met in a park under a tree but it always seemed so shady."

"They say breaking a sweat every day is one of the healthiest things you can do... good thing I eat a lot of Indian food."

"Why doesn't Iowa have a professional football team? So that Minnesota does not get jealous."

"I'm sitting in a booster seat in the back of a minivan because I want to teach my kids right and my 8yo called shotgun fair & square."

"A cop stops a guy for speeding and he tells him:"" I had a feeling I'll give a fine today, so I waited for you here all day ."" ""Sorry , but I came as fast as I could!"""

"Smokey said ""Only you can prevent Forest fires"" That's alot of pressure."

"What's the hardest part about roller blading? Telling your parents that you're gay."

"I tried to catch some fog yesterday Mist"

"Teacher: Fill out the parent form. Me: Why? Teacher: So I can contact you if your kid gets in trouble. Me: *writing* Raised. By. Wolves."