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Joke of the Day

"I wish there was an app where I could point my phone at someone and find out exactly how much money they make."

"What do a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one"

"How many South Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?? A Brazilian"

"The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old. So, you need to be 21 years old to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil."

"How can you tell if someone is a construction worker or a chemist The way they pronounce unionised"

"I was up late last night watching Philadelphia with Tom Hanks... ...We were the finalists in a cream cheese staring competition."

"A parakeet that won't shut up equals dinner for fluffy tonight."

"When the doctors diagnosed me with leprosy... ...I laughed my head off."

"Heading to the dentist. I hope they've all taken their Valium and said their prayers."

"A married man walks into a bar"