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Joke of the Day

"Why did the pig go to the casino? To play the slop machine!"

"My dog got into a bag of baking soda this morning ...and now she's a basic bitch"

"If there are three gay guys in a bath and a lump of cum floats to the surface, what do they say? Who farted?"

"I called my hospital to make an appointment today. The person who picked up answered, ""Urology department, can you please hold?"""

"My wife always compliments me after an argument. ""I couldn't have married a bigger d!ck"""

"Wha do you call when a whale gets circumcised? A huge disappointment. Edit: give me a T!"

"Give a man a fish and he'll be like, ""Dude I'm allergic to fish."" TEACH a man to fish and he'll be like, ""THTOP I THAID IM ALLERGIC TO FITH"""

"f you think Amazon always delivers what you ordered... Then you've got another thing coming."

"Instead of a tweet up, I think all the twitter crushes should get together for a weekend in the mountains You know... A Couples Retweet"

"Where does a sad chemist find employment? At an apathycary!"