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Joke of the Day

"Why did the school bully kick the classroom computer? Someone told him he was supposed to boot up the system."

"dont read space facts to try to calm yourself down bc it doesnt work.for example the moon is not round it is shaped like an egg. im furious"

"My wife's cooking is so bad.... My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food."

"Why Trump and that lady you sit next to on the plane who asks way too many questions are the same. They are both loud, annoying, fat, barely male, and completely unable to make america great again."

"Mr Monster: Oi hurry up with my supper. Mrs Monster: Oh do be quiet I've only got three pairs of hands."

"Two in one **Dude**: My IQ is absolutely massive! **Guy**: IQ is a representation of your matriarchal heritage? **Dude**: Clever.. maybe my IQ that big after all **Guy**: Ah, *patriarchal* heritage!"

"The barber asks Bernie Sanders ""what are you looking to get done today?"" ""Oh, just fuck up the top 1%."" ""Say no more..."""

"An englishman a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar The welshman isn't there because he's still at the euros"

"My neighbors listens to awesome music whether they like it or not."

"Why doesn't Superman watch Game of thrones? Because he has a LED-TV."