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Joke of the Day

"What does a psychologist wear to bed? A Freudian slip."

"I've come into a lot of money lately... It's a fetish I never knew I had until now."

"I just quite my job at the helium factory. I won't be spoken to in that tone."

"Homeless Yelp Review: Dumpster behind grocery on Calhoun & Fairfax BARELY had any rotting fruit. Owner chased me off with a bat. 0 stars."

"I told my doctor my penis was burning... To which he replied, ""That just means someone is talking about it."""

"A group of midgets were planning to rob a butcher's... But the steaks were just too high."

"So a horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Why the long face?"" The horse responds, ""They wouldn't renew Sex and the City for another season."""

"I once accidentally broke up with a girl on a broken-down train, when I said ""I don't think this is going anywhere."""

"Why couldnt the feminist screw in a lightbulb? Because there was a glass ceiling."

"Q: Why didn't the little girl want to leave nursery school? A: She wanted to be a nurse."