96445

Joke of the Day

"Whenever I rely on gravity, it lets me down. Every single time."

"Is it solipsistic in here... Or is it just me?"

"Have you guys heard about that new broom that's sweeping the nation? I heard it literally leaves its competitors in the dust!"

"I too was once a male trapped in a female body... But then my mother gave birth."

"INTERN 1: 6 in the Oval Office INTERN 2: 4 in the Roosevelt Room INTERN 3: 1 in the Lincoln Bedroom BIDEN: Okay, let's go catch some Pokemon"

"A tale of two tomatoes. Once there were two tomatoes crossing a street when a car hit one of them. The one not hit turns around and says nothing due to the shock he had seeing his friend die."

"What should you do before cooking the vegetables? Remove the wheelchair"

"T H E K I _ _ _ P P E R Taking a DNA sample from the kidnapper."

"Zoos shouldn't have realistic sculptures of animals. I'm not that smart, people."

"Treadmills should just have one big button that says ""Make Me Look Good Naked."""