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Joke of the Day

"Treadmills should just have one big button that says ""Make Me Look Good Naked."""

"New Coworker: So do you have any kids? Me: Yeah, one too many New Coworker: Haha, oh yeah? How many do you have? Me: One"

"How do gingers make friends? No seriously, im getting lonely."

"[backstage at a concert] hey guys you mind signing this? [next day at car dealership] rascal flatts is your cosigner?"

"I'm planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn't my first choice but my doctor told me I can't have any biologically."

"I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you are good with grammar you will get it."

"What do Jewish couples do when they hang out netflix and shill"

"I use these ( ... ) a lot. For which, I believe, the technical term is Dotty Dot Dots."

"Common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden."

"Everyone's always talking about our forefathers... I'm pretty sure there were more than that."