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Joke of the Day

"why do we park in the driveway but fetishize an impossible and ridiculous masculinity on the hemingway"

"I was on the bus with my gf and this smoking hot Thai chick sat next to me. I thought ""don't get a boner, don't get a boner."" But she did."

"Whats the resemblance between a prostitute and bungee jumping? You enjoy them both untill the rubber snaps."

"She said a lot of F words and I don't think it stands for fabulous."

"Why was the guitar teacher arrested? Because he fingered a minor."

"My sex life is like Star Wars Its either Hans Solo or I have to use the force..."

"* charges phone. Phone: wrong hole."

"What's Harry Potters favorite way to go down hill? Walking... JK ROLLING"

"Do you know what the twins were doing in the wigwam? I can't tell you... it's *two-in-tents*."

"I hear Donald Trump has been endorsed by the Roman Catholic Church He's called for a ban on contraception. He wants to make America mate again"