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Joke of the Day

"I wrote on my tinder that I'm 5 foot 2 and got no matches. Then I wrote that I'm just 1 foot and now I can pick and choose."

"How does Super Mario contact the dead? He uses a Luigi board."

"Why do women have legs for? To not leave a snail trail behind them."

"How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle? By tying a knot on its tail."

"A Web Designer decided to use right aligned text His boss yelled at him for it, because it wasn't justified."

"What does Snoop Dogg keep in his backyard? His garden hoes."

"My wife and I asked my son who he loves most. He pointed all around. I said he had to choose, then he told us he was pointing at the wifi."

"*pulls fire alarm in apt building* *everyone runs outside* [Me on megaphone]IVE GATHERED U HERE B/C SOME OF U STILL HAVE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS UP"

"What is pink and has seven dents in it? Snow White's virginity."

"The world seems like a beautiful place until you realize that there isn't one thing that hasn't been shoved up a butt."