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Joke of the Day

"The world seems like a beautiful place until you realize that there isn't one thing that hasn't been shoved up a butt."

"I like my women like I like my wine... Six years old and locked in a cellar."

"Surely these children should be in bed by now? - me, anytime after 4pm"

"Joke Yo momma so fat when she goes to the grocery store she brings a battery charger."

"I'd buy more Tupperware containers from the supermarket if they came with cupcakes in them."

"Life is like box of chocolates ... it doesn't last long for the fat people."

"What is a better name for cows? Lawn mooers! My 12 year old sister made this up... She out dad joked me..and I'm a dad!"

"Pickup line: ""Hey girl, is your dad in jail?"" Because if I were him, I would be."

"Argon walks into a bar The bartender kicks him out. Argon doesn't react."

"I wonder if caterpillars know they're gonna fly some day or they just start building a cocoon and are like 'why am I doing this'."