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Joke of the Day
"Don't forget to stop and Instagram the roses."
Next Joke
"So I am a poet and a novelist challenges me to a fight... So I say ""Come at me, prose"""
"NSFW How do you know your best friend is gay? His dick tastes like shit!"
"Whisper out to librarians!"
"Roy Hodgson has told the England squad that they'll have to tighten their belts next week. He also added that they should not remove them until the ""fasten seat belt"" sign goes out."
"Hi, Id like to buy a Nutri-Bullet, pls. Salesperson: Ah, nice. Off on a cleanse or health kick? Yes. *imagines drinking lasagna* For sure."
"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs at your front door? Matt"
"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped."
"One day, I made instant coffee in my microwave. I nearly went back in time. - Steven Wright"
"Why did the circus animals go on strike? The elephants found out that they were being paid peanuts compared to the rest of the troupe and the ringleader was taking the lions share."