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Joke of the Day

"Screaming, ""Hitler and the Nazi Party are in a disarray!"" when nudged at parties tells everyone that you fall asleep to the History Channel."

"What do you get when you mix Michael Jordan with Donald Trump? A Dunkin' Donut."

"I hate snakes because they have no feet. You could say I'm... lacktoes intolerant *opens another beer*"

"I wonder if this conversation ever took place.. - Jesus, what is that over there? - Don't hang me up on it, but I think it's a cross."

"Throw me to the wolves and they'll come back with cute names, little sweaters & an affinity for baby talk."

"What is Obama's least favourite instrument in an orchestra? The Trumppence"

"Girl on my bus has a therapy dog with a marked vest and I was like, ""what kind of therapy is he in?"" because of course I said that"

"How many white people does it take to screw in a light bulb? All of them. One to hold the bulb and the rest to screw the world."

"BUT YOU SAID IF I WANTED TO BE YOUR LOVER, I HAD TO GET WITH YOUR FRIENDS!"

"A 2007 study showed that for high school students graduating in the US, 4/3 did not know how to properly use fractions. It might be an outdated study though."